Seven: the greatest number ever

All other numbers are superfluous.

All other numbers are superfluous.

Stony Hooker, Staff Writer

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Many people have a favorite number; some people like 42, 23, 69, 9, 16, 8, 18… those people are wrong. From my many years on this earth I have found the 7 is the one true favorite number. It is the answer to everything. What is John Elway’s number? 7. How many Presidents were there before Van Buren? 7. How many noble gasses are there? 7. How many Roman Emperors were there? 7. My point is that 7 is amazing and there are many other reasons why.

Seven is the fourth prime number, meaning it is only divisible by 1 and 7. However, it is much more complicated than that. 7 is also a Mersenne prime number, meaning it is one less than a power of two. Two to the power of 3 is 8, and 8 minus 1 is 7. Not only is it a Mersenne prime but it is also a Double Mersenne prime because 3 is also a Mersenne prime.

It is also a Newman-Shanks-Williams prime which is derived from a large complicated formula created in 1981 that I am too lazy to explain. The fun doesn’t stop there because 7 is also a Woodall prime, a factorial prime, a lucky prime, a happy prime, a safe prime, the only Mersenne prime that is also a safe prime, and a Heegnar number according to Numberology.com.

Our world is all about the number 7. No matter how obscure, it controls us, it owns us. So, bow down to the all-powerful number as it is the one true number. All other numbers a simply bourgeoisie propaganda and should be eradicated from the world because they corrupt the minds of our youth. The glorious number 7 is always watching… always. Let it know that you love Big 7, or you will find yourself in Room 101. (Which would be renamed room 777)

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