Jersey’s new situation

Five years later, the duck phone rings again

Pictured+above%2C+the+seven+deadly+sins.
Pictured above, the seven deadly sins.

Pictured above, the seven deadly sins.

Photo provided by Sling TV

Photo provided by Sling TV

Pictured above, the seven deadly sins.

Jacklyn Duffek, Editor in Chief

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It’s been a half decade since MTV’s most famous house partiers hung up the duck phone in their Jersey Shore beach house and went their separate ways. The original reality show The Jersey Shore ran from 2009-2012, making its stars household names with each hangover. Since the show’s end, we’ve seen Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi release her own spray tan line and curvy girl bathing suit collection, get married and have two kids, Givavonna and Lorenzo. Jenni “JWOW” Farley has also had two kids, Meilani and Greyson, while getting married and struggling on Marriage Boot Camp. DJ Pauly D has hit it big in the music business, DJ-ing all over the world, buying multiple Rolls Royce cars, a mansion in Vegas and continuing to party at age 37. Meanwhile, Vinny Guadagnino, Ronnie Magro and Deena Cortese have settled out of the lime light, living somewhat everyday lives. All three live in remote New Jersey, Vinny with a girlfriend in his nice house, Deena with her husband and Ronnie with his pregnant girlfriend. The most drama (no surprise) follows behind Mike “the Situation” Sorrentino, who has been battling his Supreme Court case “The Situation vs. the United States” (actual quote) against his years of tax evasion.

The plot line for Jersey Shore Family Reunion belongs to these six, excluding Sammi Sweetheart and whoever cared about Angelina. The group travels to the glorious South beach, Miami for weeks of partying, alcohol, tanning, tears and drama. Everything I look for in a reality show and a weekend.

The pilot episode opens with the squad trying to get Mike to Miami with his lawyers’ permission, possibly delaying his jail sentence. And because this is my family’s new Sunday quality time (it used to be 90 Day Fiancé, which is its own web story entirely) I asked them if Mike will be able to control himself with his two year sobriety while in Miami.

My parents are at opposite beliefs in having faith that Mike will stay sober-Mom very doubtful that he’ll succeed and Dad somehow believes Mike has hit rock bottom and won’t return to the bottle. My dad’s favorite person on the show is easily Pauly D. “It seems he’s the only one who actually made a business. That Ronnie is a freaking saga! Plus, Pauly’s hair looks ridiculous.” With a heavy sigh, my mother’s least favorite houseguest “is a close tie between Ronnie and Snooki. Snooki tries way too hard to be the coolest and Ronnie is a female drama queen, he causes problems.” And of course she predicts Snooki to get the most trashed at every club. “I think Snooki needs to grow up and stop acting like she’s 16,” she says.

Clearly we each have opinions and will be dialed in for the next episode, ready to answer questions for the Jersey Shore Family Reunion recap articles after the show airs Sunday at 9pm on MTV.

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