Taylor Swift vs. Phil Swift

Let’s Take a Minute and Assess the Damage

A+summary+of+similarities+and+slight+differences+on+the+two+swifty+Swifts.
A summary of similarities and slight differences on the two swifty Swifts.

A summary of similarities and slight differences on the two swifty Swifts.

A summary of similarities and slight differences on the two swifty Swifts.

Amber McGinnis, Staff Writer

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At first glance, these two Swifty celebs may not appear to have much cross over, but upon a deeper analysis, there is more than meets the reptilian eye (and no, they are not related). To begin, for those unfamiliar with either icon mentioned, I would like to ask one question: have you been living under a rock? If so, dig yourself out of that dank hole and prepare to have your minds blown (it’s surprisingly underwhelming!)

 

Phil Swift is not only the spokesperson, but also the creator of the innovative and amazing Flex Seal products such as Flex Seal, Flex Tape, Flex Glue, and Flex Shot. If you have ever heard of this “intrepid pioneer of tape,” as senior Mateo Liger called him, or the “pioneer of modern engineering,” as another Phil Swift connoisseur, senior Kevin Maguire, has stated, it is most likely due to his rather well-known and inspiring quote: “That’s a lot of damage!” This is often said after brutally destroying some type of object, some favorites including broken buckets, cracked fish tanks, leaky pipes, and most importantly, boats that have been sawed in half facing dangerous shark infested waters. But there is a ray of light; after he seemingly deems an object useless, our hero whips out the miraculous Flex Seal and patches up all of life’s problems. Kevin compares this invention’s strength to “the mighty power of Zeus.” In today’s internet culture, this Swift is often portrayed as a meme, not taken seriously at all; however, as Mateo proudly stated, “His product doesn’t seem to me bad. It’s just the way he sells it; it is the living proof of how marketing is managed in the United States.” Kevin thinks similarly, saying, “While to many, Phil Swift may be a mere internet joke, he is much more than that to us true fans of his product.”

 

And next, Taylor Swift, good ol’ T-Swizzle. If you haven’t heard of this girl, then you are certainly living under the biggest boulder known to man. This Swift started her career young as an aspiring country singer and soon rose to stardom, eventually changing her focus to pop music. Though her preferred genre has switched, one similarity remains: Swift loves to stir the pot with songs about drama and break ups, though many of her hits are also endearing songs of love and her personal life. Some may view this as a negative, but really, it’s just her inspiration to make music her fans love. As fan (my mother) Nicky McGinnis gladly exclaimed, “Taylor is beautiful, awesome, and sings wonderfully.” Though a woman of few words here, the emotion in McGinnis’s statement really portrays her true passion for the singer. Another super fan, Frankie-Gene Ellis, recently attended Swift’s recent concert; in regard to that, “She was so gorgeous, it actually hurt,”  referring to the song Gorgeous, and “I was wonderstruck, blushing all the way home.” From what I have heard from attendees, the concert was overall stunning and as Ellis so eloquently put it, “Just like Taylor Swift, that concert will never go out of style.” However, Ellis did not escape the show unscathed. According to her, some of the venue-goers were much too flamboyant and extra. She explains that she had front row seats with her husband and some man decided to cause turmoil as he screamed the lyrics to Delicate in their ears. In summary, let’s just say her husband was very close to not being so delicate; however, the issue was solved and overall the show was still enjoyed by Ellis and her spouse as they watched her idol perform just a few feet away from them.

 

Now, it’s time to swiftly compare and contrast our two beloved Swifts. For starters, each legacy in some way relates to damage, In the world of Phil, damage is mended, in the world of Taylor, damage is created (in terms of relationships). Valiant Phil takes what he destroys and makes it new again, sometimes even better, such as turning a normal boat in dangerous shark infested waters into an even cooler clear-bottom boat in dangerous shark infested waters. Taylor, though I’m sure is a lovely lady and has done many wonderful things, takes what is destroyed and makes it something new entirely. Unfortunate breakup? Make a hit. Budding romance? It’ll spread like wildfire. Any other life problem? That’s a bop. In a way, both take what has been dramatically torn apart and damaged in countless ways and turn it into artistic excellence. Though appearing as polar opposites, maybe Phil and Taylor really aren’t that different (even though they definitely are). As Phil Swift Professional, Kevin, assured, “Phil Swift and Flex Tape will get you through the toughest conditions, no doubt in my mind” and I feel this holds true for the Taylor Swift fandom as well. Though damaged, everyone has an outlet, and for many, that outlet may be Swift’s upbeat and catchy music. Additionally, though Phil Swift is not a world-famous singer, he has sung a little and it is certainly a blessing to all ears that hear it. I would love to hear a collaboration between Swift squared. Surely that would be a great crossover from the Swift fandom into the Swift fandom, mending all damage in the way. And concluding reminder #1: Band-Aids don’t fix bullet holes, but Flex Tape does.

 

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