Recipe for Love: Tea, Maturity, Witches and Desperation

What happened with Colton and Tia? Is Joe ready to leave the grocery store and become a father? Do we have witch in Mexico? ALL these questions answered on this update of Bachelor in Paradise!

A salty sea, some salty tears, and some salty Pina Colada’s! 
Photo Credits: ABC

A salty sea, some salty tears, and some salty Pina Colada’s! Photo Credits: ABC

Daniel Cusimano, Staff Writer

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This week on Bachelor in Paradise we get filled in with the three T’s; Tea, Trauma and Tia. Monday’s night episode America is shocked with the split of Tia and Colton. After figuring out that Colton will soon be the new Bachelor on next season.  Colton’s buff arms but fragile personality left us Monday night because it just “wasn’t working out” taking Bachelor nation by storm we all were shook, heartbroken, and just broken. Now I don’t know who let Colton become the next bachelor. He is more wish washy then my mouthwash. Many gay conspiracy theories are out on him, and I will let you know more information on that next time.

Now as we move into Tuesday’s night episode we have two cute couples that actually survived from Bachelor in Paradise come on to the show, Evan and Carly and Jade and Tanner. Grocery Store Joe thought he scored a wonderful romantic date with Kendall, but instead of a day on the town, they got a day filled with tears, diapers, and despair. Even though this play date was filled with more tears than Keeping Up with the Kardashians, this date seemed to make their relationship stronger for their future.

As the episode continues Eric leaves due to flaky excuses about not knowing where he stands with Angela, but really, he just has commitment issues. Truthfully nobody really cares because I truthfully hated him since the start of the season, so he was just a waste of airtime. But here is where the tea crashes on the shore of Mexico. Shushanna is love struck by Kamil, but the two foreigners don’t seem to be on the same page, or book for that matter. Shushanna denies two dates in hopes of casting her “spell” on Kamil to like her. But if learned anything from my fair share of TV shows, it is that love is the only thing that can stop a spell. Throughout the episode Shushanna is convicted of being a witch that disturbs the whole cast. But hey, if the Sis has to throw a couple of death spells to Annaliese, then do what you have to do. Annaliese is pretty much willing to fall in love with anyone that walks. The new makeup kit Desperation came out in Mexico this past mouth and it is not a good look on her.

Sadly, this is where the Tea or should I say Tia ends, but next week we have a two-night season finale of Bachelor in Paradise! I will keeping you all up to date on all the gossip, tea, and conspiracy theories for this jaw dropping, tear jerking season finale! Till next time, keep your tea flowing and your tea spilling.

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Recipe for Love: Tea, Maturity, Witches and Desperation