Breaking: Post Malone discovered with thirty identical siblings

How could he keep it in for so long?

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Breaking: Post Malone discovered with thirty identical siblings

Mr. Malone is not the greatest at hiding things. 
Photo from @seancunningham Instagram page

Mr. Malone is not the greatest at hiding things. Photo from @seancunningham Instagram page

Mr. Malone is not the greatest at hiding things. Photo from @seancunningham Instagram page

Mr. Malone is not the greatest at hiding things. Photo from @seancunningham Instagram page

Patrick Roghaar, Staff Writer

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Post Malone, an iconic musician and rapper of this generation, has been discovered to possess approximately thirty siblings. The catch is they all look like Posty himself, and they all attend East Lake High School. With some varying features such as length, width, and quality of dress, it is impossible to remember their individual names as they all look too similar. The siblings revealed themselves this afternoon of October third, 2018. I was not physically present to see this long kept secret come out of the shadows, as I was out with a sickness. It was brought to my attention via Instagram, when I scrolled through a multitude of pictures of Post Malones. It seems as if Mr. Malone’s siblings were using East Lake’s “music genre” homecoming day as a façade to keep their identities hidden. The secret did not last long, however, as many others and I quickly discovered at least thirty Post Malones roaming the halls.

It’s hard to tell what their plan was. They couldn’t have possibly have thought that they could’ve remained hidden with this homecoming day. Post Malone is just too iconic and popular. East Lake students are filled to the brim with creativity, so it was obvious they wouldn’t dress up as currently the most well-known musician of the teenage generation. The siblings are likely to deny everything about relation to Malone, and I’ve additionally heard reports that they would be dressing up as athletes from collegiate and professional sports the following day. Who knows what’s to come next: maybe on Friday they’ll all be doctors, maybe on Saturday they’ll all be in formal dresses and suits, and maybe on Sunday they’ll all be recovering from the sweat from the formal attire.

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Breaking: Post Malone discovered with thirty identical siblings