The Boring Bachelor

Colton Underwood, terrible, charming, dumb? We will get to the heart of what we truly think of him. Do we stan, or are we ready to just move on?

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The Boring Bachelor

Colton may lose viewers if the show doesn't liven up.

Colton may lose viewers if the show doesn't liven up.

Colton may lose viewers if the show doesn't liven up.

Colton may lose viewers if the show doesn't liven up.

Daniel Cusimano, Staff Writer

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Ladies and Gentlemen, we are back with another segment on The Bachelor, and honestly, I am tired. I don’t know if it is just me, but I just feel bland. Like we have seen this tea before on other seasons and I am not rolling. Caelynn and Hannah B. drama…. COME ON. This is the main source of drama for this show right now and I am just like the definition of confused. I truthfully don’t like most of these girls anyways from the start. I need some sugar, I need some spice, because this recipe is going to be some dry meatloaf.

At the end of the day Colton is most likely gay and we are just all sitting at our T.V. screens for him to fall in love with a girl that he doesn’t even like just to go out and marry Chris Harrison. Honestly, I ship “Christon,” so production just needs to cut to the chase because I am waiting. The hard truth about this season is that we have no actual drama that is making my wig fly off to the Netherlands. Katherine was a potential fix for our needs, but of course one of the only semi interesting drama starters gets kicked off week three. ABC is all about ratings, but with this season I think they’re going to be in for a rude awakening. So, Colton get your act together or all of the Bachelor fans are going to be coming for you.

I am looking for Demi to literally rip out one of these girls’ wigs and then use it as a jump rope. Some of these girls have potential but right now I am literally just rolling and not in a good way. This week he kicked off some irrelevant people because they don’t ever get screen time, so I am not even going to focus on them. If we are going to be real, only five girls get any decent amount of screen time so I am just waiting for them to dwindle down, so we can actually start rooting for people. Well, America, I hope you enjoyed my disappointment because I surely didn’t. Hopefully I will be back with sizzling hot tea that will have you in the hospital with four-degree burns! Till next time on…. THE BORING BACHELOR!

 

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The Boring Bachelor