Good morning, Feast Lake
November 20, 2015
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Since it is the week before everyone’s favorite meal of the year, here are some pointers to prepare you for the conquest of cuisine. Preparing for this glorious evening needs to begin, at latest, on the Monday before Thanksgiving. On this day it is imperative that you eat good sized meals to stretch your stomach out because just like stretching is important before doing a max lift, it is even more paramount that stretching is done before Thanksgiving. Tuesday should follow suit and be a very similar consumption day to Monday. These stretching meals, however, should be healthy and nutritious since junk food or processed foods will not only cause weight gain and an increase in fat deposits, but it can also spoil your stomach, causing you to become sick, and no one, I repeat no one wants to be sick on Thanksgiving. Good stretching meals could include but are not limited to chicken wings, lots and lots of chicken wings, or shrimp. Wednesday is a key component in the preparing process, so read into this carefully. On this day you can cut back on the food you consume; just eat what you decide to be enough food for each meal. Drink lots of water throughout the entire week but especially on Wednesday and of course on Thursday as well. A nice light salad and maybe a fish or white meat dinner will suffice on Wednesday night. Now comes directions to follow once you reach the Promised Land. Try to sleep in as late as possible on Thursday so that your hunger wakes you up. Breakfast is allowed but make it as small as possible; this will be your last meal of the day until the celebrated supper. Since Thanksgiving dinners usually begin much earlier than an average dinner-time meal, you won’t have to wait long to gorge yourself. This is the moment you have been waiting for, you’ve trained for this, you are so overly prepared for this that it is going to be a cake walk, and you will definitely have room for cake afterwards. Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, corn, every food your heart and stomach desires, awaits you in the Promised Land or promised lamb, if you’re Greek.