It’s the Way of the Hall

Most+accurate+depiction+of+doomsday+itself%2C+shown+above%0AHallway+photo+taken+from+www.studentachievement.org+%0A
Most accurate depiction of doomsday itself, shown above
Hallway photo taken from www.studentachievement.org

Most accurate depiction of doomsday itself, shown above Hallway photo taken from www.studentachievement.org

Most accurate depiction of doomsday itself, shown above Hallway photo taken from www.studentachievement.org

Patrick Roghaar, Staff Writer

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When roaming the halls of the upstairs buildings, I noticed repeatedly a certain form of chaos in the hallways. It seemed as if all order to the hallway walking system was lost. Doors were flying open out of nowhere; students walking on the left and middle sides like they ran the place. I didn’t even recognize the school’s own hallway after this madness. But then I found the pattern. These agents of chaos were none other than the class of 2022. 

With the all new influx of class of 2022 students came a sense of overpopulation filling the halls of East Lake. While it may seem initially bad, the other superior classes learned to tolerate it with order in the hallways. Everyone stays to the right, opens the doors slowly and wide so others can get in after you, and just simply don’t do anything out of the ordinary. I guess this doesn’t apply to these freshman hoodlums. When I leave my classroom and I see some clown on the left side coming right for me, I have to completely stop and move out of the way, therefore disrupting the whole line of hallway goers behind me. I would say this is the most common form of freshman. A rare and unique subspecies are the sprinters. Hired by Usain Bolt himself to ruin my day, I can’t give too detailed of a behavioral report as I only see them in a blur. My plan for them is weighing down their backpacks to inhibit maximum acceleration. Lastly, there are the door swingers. I don’t know if the goal is to impress the person behind you with your rotational strength, but the doors at East Lake High School tremble in fear when a freshman approaches the handle. Doors that lead out to the hallway give me nightmares. Some power forward freshman basketball star gives the door one good push and could harm hundreds if not thousands.  

It has to come to an end. There has to be a compromise established soon before lives are lost. By any means necessary our four graduating classes need to come together and return our high school to the controlled chaos it once was in brighter times. As for now, the only thing left to do is hope. 

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