Chick-Fill up my stomach beyond its capacity, ensuing internal chaos- A

There was nothing mini about the chicken minis


Patrick had been training intensely to take on those innocent looking but secretly evil minis.

Sean Cunningham and Patrick Roghaar

Pat: Your brave staff writers take on yet another food challenge for the Talon, this time being twenty chicken minis located at a teenager’s favorite, Chick-Fil-A. Chicken minis are little bits of perfect crispy chicken suffocated by honey-dipped bread to make a little sandwich. We had learned a lot from last time in terms of preparation and how to down the meal faster. After countless hours of watching film and assessing the pros and cons of our eating habits, Sean and I were ready. I picked him up in the morning and we were on our way. We both had little to eat the night before. We arrived, we ordered, and we waited for our food. Once it was ready, our server brought forth catering baskets filled with twenty minis wrapped all cute in a little blanket. The basket additionally came with a scooper-claw thing that allowed for easy access to the blanketed chicken. Sean and I, going in confident, began the challenge. My colleague and I had very different paces towards eating. After about five minutes, I had finished ten minis. After the same allotted time, Sean had finished five. My supernatural pace, however, immediately slowed down, as my body was beginning to fill up. Sean was very consistent throughout. The first half of the challenge proved to be no difficulty for us, but the second is where things got interesting.

Sean: The infamous chicken minis had eluded my stomach up until this day, and talk about a rude awakening into the reality of these mini-sandwiches! This challenge entailed a grandiose 1850 calories, and here we were trudging through the neck of the forest of it all. Patrick had much more experience than I, already having ingested a 10-count of minis prior to this challenge. However, we had hit the dreaded “point of no return” upon scarfing down our 10th mini and things were about to get ugly. I made quite the poignant observation while glaring upon the eight or so maniacal minis I had left to consume, noting the intimidation factor behind this challenge. Struggling to make out the words, I whimper, “These things just don’t go away; they are just always there-staring you down until you surrender.” We managed to fight our way to 15, and we had hit “the homestretch.” Just five chicken minis! How hard could it be? 20 minutes, multiple moans of agony, and three chicken minis later, we found out just how hard it could be. Finally reaching the bittersweet peak of Mt. Mini, I decided to end with a thrilling power move-popping the final mini devil sandwich into my mouth and consuming it, along with the day’s demons, in one final bite. The triumph came with an almost insufferable bellyache, and we hit the road back home. While returning home, we reflected upon the experience and the main lesson we learned: just because a challenge isn’t unbeatable, doesn’t mean it’s easy. Above all else, the chicken minis challenge was a remarkable epic of vengeance and a wonderous bestowment of honor onto the Roghaar and Cunningham names.