Seed Spit’n tips and tricks

A typical bag of those sweet, sweet seeds

A typical bag of those sweet, sweet seeds

Connor Wells, Staff Writer

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Sunflower seeds serve a purpose beyond extending the species to reproduce.  All you have to do is pick some of those suckers, rinse ‘em off, roast them in your choice of flavor, and you got yourself a hearty snack. Sunflower seeds are no longer limited to baseball players. Anyone can pick and spit them as they please. Some of the wide range of flavors include original, sweet and sour, BBQ, pickle, and even Buffalo for the spice-oriented Seed Spitters. There are plenty of brands to curb appetites including David Original, Bigs, and Spitz.

Just like a National Merit Scholar determining which top tier university they will go to, Seed Spitters can choose how they consume. Plebeians will use the barbaric method of throwing a bunch of seeds in their mouth, crunching them into a thick pulp, and spitting the resulting war zone on the ground. The more refined will consume their seeds one at a time, extracting the seed within and neatly removing the shell cleanly in half. Experts like Brandon Ottaviano subscribe to the advanced method, where he can put multiple shells in his mouth at the same time, and neatly remove the shells. The filthy normies when it comes to the seeds will simply suck the flavoring off, spitting the ENTIRE seed on the ground. This simply decimates any nutritional value.

A mentioned earlier, anyone can pick up the seeds. The seeds will nurture and sustain any individual in search of something more, something tangible. Senior Jack Maher says, “These seeds are pretty aight I guess,” providing another resounding review of what makes them wholesome and great.

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