Christmas conspiracies

Some of the most suspicious Christmas traditions…

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Could she be the Christmas devil?

Lauren McCloy, Staff Writer

We are on our final days until Christmas, family traditions such as Elf on the Shelf and putting up the Christmas tree have already been done. However, they might not be what they appear… some people are awfully suspicious about Christmas, and here are some conspiracy theories about this holiday.

 

Christmas was created by capitalists to raise the power of the bourgeoisie.

Christmas was different before 1823. The stereotypical Christmas we know was created, so what was Christmas before this? Well, ask Clement Moore. he was the one who created it. He was one of the wealthiest landowners, and before his poem “A Visit from Saint Nicholas” (best known for the line “’twas the night before Christmas…), Christmas was nothing like it is today. Moore most likely used this poem to inspire a Christmas driven by spending and expensive gift aspect of Christmas. so maybe, just maybe, we should go back to the true meaning of Christmas. And uncover secrets of the US government.

 

The Elf on the Shelf is a government spy. 

Do you know what would be very useful to the FBI? Little eyes in every single household in America. The elf on the shelf 100% has cameras implanted in them, so be careful what you say around this FBI agent.

 

Mariah Carey is using whistle tones to control us. 

Name a Christmas song? “All I want for Christmas is You “is undeniably one of the most popular modern Christmas songs. It probably popped into your head. every single year, year after year Mariah Carey tops a chart every season since 1994. One of the most normal things is that they’re high notes in all of her songs. Sounds up and studied for the psychological effects on humans. so basically Mariah Carey is controlling us with her voice.

 

all right, so most of these are a joke. but Mariah Carey totally has the ability to control everyone with her vocals. The question isn’t can she, it’s will she? or will she let you enjoy your holiday season? it’s up to Mariah.