Enlightenment through cottage cheese and a new common enemy

This+combo+is+even+more+heinous+than+ham+and+pineapple.
This combo is even more heinous than ham and pineapple.

This combo is even more heinous than ham and pineapple.

This combo is even more heinous than ham and pineapple.

Albert Turner, Staff Writer

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Throughout everyone’s lifetime they find themselves a passion something that despite the opinions of the masses they will fight tooth and nail for the betterment of their cause. Some are more minor than others; in the case of my dearest classmate Kyle Cunningham, food has become his inspiration, his passion per se, defending his favorite in-school snack of Cottage Cheese from the

nay-sayers and the haters.  One of the major notable hater is William Hasell, and when listening to the arguments during class, you can vividly hear their back and forth statements either for or against the snack, with Kyle defending the texture and the flavor as two

pleasurable experience that he experiences on a nearly daily basis and Will firing back, claiming the opposite and calling Kyle’s beloved dish “Spoiled” and having little to no understanding of why cottage cheese is even considered as a viable food item except for means of torture or a cruel joke.

 

 

The newcomer of cottage cheese to the debate scene has truly caused a rift amongst newspaper staff and Kyle Cunningham. People of all ages and opinions must all come together and  settle our differences and defeat a recently discovered common enemy.  Recently on twitter a post went semi-viral of a mayo

and peas pizza; this may just be the cover required in order for Kyle’s peculiar craving to go under the radar, for now.

 

 

This monstrosity as pictured is quite possibly the most sinister thing I personally have ever laid eyes on,  This is the true killer of appetite and makes me wretch looking at it.  Kyle will be justly dealt with eventually but for now this is the true enemy of man, mayo pea pizza, we at the Talon will deal with you and your evil.

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