Everything wrong with Hallmark movies

A small exploration into the many, many problems that plague all Hallmark movies and make them almost unwatchable.

Skyler DiLoreto, Staff Writer

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Figuring out things that are wrong with Hallmark movies is not difficult. All you have to do is watch one of the movies and you can start to figure it out: subpar, amateur acting, awkward, stilted dialogue, messy, predictable plots–these movies have it all. If watching the movie is too much work, you can just google “Everything wrong with Hallmark movies” and you will get more than 19,000,000 results. Yet even with this abundance of negatives, people still watch these movies. Not only do they watch them; they actually enjoy them. In 2017 an expected number of 85 million people watched a Hallmark Christmas movie. Because of this, these movies will continue to be cheaply made with no more effort put into them.  

One of the most important aspect of any Hallmark Christmas movie is its reliability. When you turn one on you know exactly what you’re going to get, and while that may not exactly be a good thing, some people love that. No matter what Hallmark title you have chosen, from A Christmas Detour (2015) to A Very Merry Mix-Up (2013), you’re guaranteed to receive a cheesy, feel-good, romantic comedy. While most of these movies tend to border on emotionally manipulating in how they force emotional reactions rather than allow them to occur naturally through the use of things such as music and tone, people can find them to be a great way to get into the holiday spirit. These movies also skew towards a conservative, traditionalist viewpoint with very little social agenda making them relatively inoffensive, if you’re looking past their actual quality, and acceptable for any member of the family. 

Essentially the thing that I find most offensive about Hallmark movies in general is the lack of thought put into them. Every Hallmark Christmas movie at its core is a watered down cheaply made film, the movie equivalent of a clothing from Forever 21 or a meal from McDonald’s. Each bland movie makes sure it contains a certain checklist– a plot dealing with family or a love interest, a Christmas setting and that specific emotion that fits with the holiday season through a universally inoffensive premise. These movies never could be and never were meant to be considered art, they are a product made for the soul reason of increasing viewer and therefore profit. 

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Everything wrong with Hallmark movies