Product Review: AirPods

Sean Cunningham, Staff Writer

Today, I have decided to spice up the product review series. Instead of relying on reliable yet bland topics, like I have been up to this point, I have decided to go for the jugular. Today’s article will be a product review of the infamous Apple AirPods, one of the most hyped products to come out in recent memory, and a product that is only continuing to gain steam.

As a personal AirPods owner, this review will encompass not only the product itself, but the monumental effect this product has on the fabric of reality its owners exist upon (as opposed to those who use wires to listen to music). First off, the AirPods offer a sound quality roughly equal to previous wired earbuds Apple has released and continues to release. The wireless Bluetooth functionality makes for a luxurious and convenient audio listening experience-all for a reasonable price of $160. Although this price may seem somewhat steep, it compares quite well to the prices of other high-quality Bluetooth earbuds. Non-believers throw around the critiques that “they have to be charged” and that “they are as easy to lose as spare change.” However, these arguments are easily refuted. The AirPods are charged through the convenient magnetic case they are stored in, which can supply over four full charges before running out of juice. The case can charge three hours of playback in an astounding 15 minutes! The AirPods also can be tracked through the Find My iPhone application, so losing them is not an issue either. The only “issue” with Apple’s AirPods is the extent to which they will transform your social status, lifestyle, and even the fabric of reality in which you exist in. Anyone who owns them can attest to this: AirPods users do not associate with those who use wired headphones. We call them “Wires,” as they seem to be as much of a nuisance as the pesky cords they have been named after. Trust me: you do NOT want to be a Wire. Join us and become elevated to a status of reality unlike any other. Join us, purchase yourself a pair of AirPods today.