East Lake’s Vending machine debacle

Connor Wells, Staff Writer

It’s a Monday morning, and you’re up for that first bell at 7:20. After working on your late newspaper articles all night, you are exhausted and all motivation is gone. You’ve had little to no breakfast, and your cells are screaming for any sort of energy. You suddenly remember the school’s various vending machines. Many of us have had this morning experience, and its not a stretch to say most people have also been a victim of the vending machines themselves. Through my own experiences and interviews from others, I’ve learned the scope of this pandemic.

According to my vast research and on the ground investigation, I’ve discovered there are three types of vending machines at our esteemed high school. One is the classic, which you can expect to see it at most gas station rest stops, recreational centers, and shopping malls. It consists of different types of chips, some off-brand, and breakfast bars. The second is a type of flavored seltzer water, branded as Bubly water, an intended substitute for soda. The third is one of the most essential and popular, Mountain Dew Kickstarts. Coming in the three tasty flavors, Orange Mango, Watermelon, and Blue Raspberry. Not only is this a fruity drink, but is designed to give tired students a boost of energy. With so many options, one would think the vending machines would be an essential part of the school. Unfortunately, the machines have a fatal flaw.

The vending machines are desperately in need of some maintenance. Most who use them have issues putting cash in. I have personally witnessed student Ryan Berke try to use of the crispest dollar bills to ever bless the U.S. Mint, only to have it be rejected as if it was crumpled up in a freshman’s cargo pants pocket all day. Seniors Brandon Ottaviano and Josh Brooks have often accompanied me to use the vending machines, where they can attest to hard cash being a toss up for acceptance. I myself have been a victim to the cruelest fate, the machine accepting my hard-earned dollar, and not registering. I truly hope East Lake administration can help in this matter.