Real men don’t wear pink…they wear short shorts

You’re not a man until you put on a pair of Chubbies.

You’re not a man until you put on a pair of Chubbies.

Brandon Ottaviano, Staff Writer

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Throughout the times, clothing trends have been somewhat of a staple of the era in which they existed. Back in the late 1800s Levi-Strauss came out with their first pair of blue jeans, sold to gold miners. Clearly, blue jeans have become a staple of clothing ever since. The 20s introduced the era of the “flapper.” Most recently we are living in the generation of “streetwear” and “hype beasts,” namely Supreme brand, Champion brand, A Bathing Ape brand, etc. Paired with some ripped up skinny jeans and a pair of Yeezys or Jordans, you have yourself a typical hype beast.

Forget all that. Short shorts are what’s up. Back in the 70s and 80s, all men wore short shorts. It was a sign of masculinity, of confidence, and of heroism. It’s time to bring that back.

Introducing Chubbies, the greatest clothing brand to ever exist. If you are someone who enjoys being dressed like a true king, this brand is for you. Chubbies grew their brand off of swim trunks, preferably with 5.5’’ inseams. These swimming trunks come in all sorts of different selections, styles, and designs, most notably a collaboration with Star Wars to deliver a unique line of specialty swimwear. Some of the most famous and recognizable swim trunks include “The Hooligans,” “The Neon Lights,” and “The En Fuegos.”

Next up is their 5.5’’ inseam shorts. They sell a variety of shorts, mostly casual shorts, but also lounge shorts that are designed for maximum comfort; to feel like a cloud wrapped around your thighs. The stretch originals are the meat and potatoes of the Chubbies brand. Every collection of Chubbies starts with these shorts. Coming in a wide selection of colors, there’s a pair for every occasion and every mood. Some of the classics include “The Khakinators,” “The Dark N’ Stormies,” “The Altitudes,” and “The Staples.” Having a broad selections of colors to choose from feels fantastic; having the freedom to select any combination of shirts and shorts and wield them into a successful day is a feeling like no other.

Don’t forget about the Chubbies shirts either. An awesome selection of tees, tanks, and long sleeve shirts come in all sorts of colors and styles. My personal favorite is the selection of long sleeve shirts. Providing comfort, warmth, style, and great synergy with the classic shorts, these are a must.

Now, it has turned into a phenomenon. However, this brand is still not well known, so keep it that way. This brand is not for the faint-hearted. It is for real men; men who love to bask in the glory of their monstrously hairy thighs and their iron sculpted calves. It is for men who take the day by storm, brandishing their beautiful pair of Chubbies. It is for men who don’t shy away from boldness; instead, they embrace it. It is for men who eat danger for breakfast and conquer their challenges.

Chubbies brand shorts are the best shorts I have ever worn. Each pair of luxury shorts has its own unique name. Some of my favorite names include: “The Great Unknowns,” “The Vesuviuses,” “The Vannas,” and “The Pine Day.”  Each pair of shorts is built with the finest of waist buttons, the sturdiest of zippers, and the most elastic of waistbands. Arachne herself sewed the inseams. They are flexible and elastic and durable as heck.

Sky’s out, Thighs out… And remember, with great thighs comes great responsibility.

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