Menacing Gordita

Gorditas+sneakily+choosing+their+next+victim.
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Menacing Gordita

Gorditas sneakily choosing their next victim.

Gorditas sneakily choosing their next victim.

Gorditas sneakily choosing their next victim.

Gorditas sneakily choosing their next victim.

Brock Maloy, Ads Manager

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It’s been seventeen days since my first encounter with Taco Bell’s Cheesy Gordita Crunchwrap.  Fellow staff writer Patrick Roghaar first peer pressured me into trying it. I remember what he said, “C’mon Brock, everybody is doing it.” Yeah sure, everybody is and now I know why.  I first thought it was just a stomach bug that night after the Gordita.  Sure, I underestimated it; why would I?  That night I had some serious dreams and they were all about the Gordita. I had several that night in fact. The first I was heading to Taco Bell to munch on a Gordita but the next a Gordita attempted to kill me. Was it a sign? In school I’m finding it to be harder to focus on work.  Whenever I look at Patrick, he turns into a Gordita; what is happening? I think it’s a chemical imbalance triggered off the first Gordita.  They do not tell you the downside to this cheesy crunchy piece of heaven.  I found myself subconsciously driving to Taco Bell after school, but I wasn’t even thinking about it.  I knew right then that I may have been compromised by the Gordita Crunch.

The more I tried to stay away from the Gordita the stronger the grip it had on my mind. It even has gotten to a point where this past Sunday I received a coupon for a free Gordita.  Something is off and the Gordita is watching me.  I’ve fallen into a pit of despair as the Gordita has consumed much of my life.  I guess what I really hope is that I can make it out of this.  My plan is going to access my inner self and try to survive the Gordita possession.  If I am still living, I will be reporting back in two weeks.

 

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