Menacing Gordita


Gorditas sneakily choosing their next victim.

Brock Maloy, Ads Manager

It’s been seventeen days since my first encounter with Taco Bell’s Cheesy Gordita Crunchwrap.  Fellow staff writer Patrick Roghaar first peer pressured me into trying it. I remember what he said, “C’mon Brock, everybody is doing it.” Yeah sure, everybody is and now I know why.  I first thought it was just a stomach bug that night after the Gordita.  Sure, I underestimated it; why would I?  That night I had some serious dreams and they were all about the Gordita. I had several that night in fact. The first I was heading to Taco Bell to munch on a Gordita but the next a Gordita attempted to kill me. Was it a sign? In school I’m finding it to be harder to focus on work.  Whenever I look at Patrick, he turns into a Gordita; what is happening? I think it’s a chemical imbalance triggered off the first Gordita.  They do not tell you the downside to this cheesy crunchy piece of heaven.  I found myself subconsciously driving to Taco Bell after school, but I wasn’t even thinking about it.  I knew right then that I may have been compromised by the Gordita Crunch.

The more I tried to stay away from the Gordita the stronger the grip it had on my mind. It even has gotten to a point where this past Sunday I received a coupon for a free Gordita.  Something is off and the Gordita is watching me.  I’ve fallen into a pit of despair as the Gordita has consumed much of my life.  I guess what I really hope is that I can make it out of this.  My plan is going to access my inner self and try to survive the Gordita possession.  If I am still living, I will be reporting back in two weeks.