Tim Allen: cocaine cowboy

Tim’s mugshot.  Picture via washingtontimes.com

Tim’s mugshot. Picture via washingtontimes.com

Cooper Nelson, Staff Writer

You all know him.  You’ve all seen him.  He’s perfectly fits the mold of the classic right leaning conservative sitcom show dad.  Tim Allen Dick first broke onto the sitcom scene via Home Improvement in 1991 and landed another one of his cookie cutter father figure roles in ABC sitcom Last Man Standing.  Professionally known as Tim Allen, Dick also voices Buzz Lightyear in the Toy Story franchise.  Dick has built himself quite an impressive and respectable resume, right? No, you uneducated fool; Tim Allen is a rat.

Perhaps Tim should have spent less time working on his comedy routine and spent more time familiarizing himself with the G code.  If you are not familiar with the G code, it is a code of honor expected from a gangster.  But Tim Dick doesn’t need to abide by the rules of the streets, right? No, you are wrong, again.  Let me explain.

In 1978, Tim Allen Dick was arrested in the Kalamazoo/Battle Creek International Airport for possession of cocaine.  This bust was a result of a sting operation by an undercover officer targeting the then 25-year-old Dick.  At the time of his arrest Tim was in possession of 650 grams of cocaine, which translates to about 1.4 pounds.  This could have been Tim’s ticket to life in jail, but he was not about to go down alone.

In court Tim immediately pled guilty to drug trafficking.  Tim then sealed his legacy as a complete coward when he provided names and information on nearly two dozen other dealers in exchange for a shortened sentence of three to seven years opposed to his possible life sentence.  Dick ended up getting off with two years and four months of jail time, he was paroled in 1981.  Tim took the easy way out.  He knew what he was getting into, he made his bed, and elected not to sleep in it.  Yet we allow this man on national television?  We allow him to sculpt the minds of our children?  This is absurd.  Tim Allen Dick must be eradicated.