No one’s favourite things: food edition

Eggs are good I guess

Look at them. It’s like they’re staring back at me.

Look at them. It’s like they’re staring back at me.

Claire Maloney, Web Editor

I was beginning to lose hope in this series; I was at my breaking point and hit a roadblock. I was out of ideas and then it happened. The day was Monday, October 28, 2019. It was a muggy Florida morning when fellow staff writer Calena Lopez bet that I couldn’t write a story about eggs. I never back down from a challenge and immediately went to the drawing board until it finally hit me. No one’s favorite food is eggs. They are dry, boring, and they smell really bad. A stench strong enough to wipe out a small Alabama militia.


Let’s review the facts: sure, there are a million different ways to eat eggs, and sure eggs are a breakfast classic, but has any one soul that has existed in the entire history of Earth ever once said their favorite food is eggs? No, because they are the most plain and boring food ever. The only reason anyone even eats eggs for breakfast is because they are so plain they go with almost any other breakfast food and they are high in protein, not to mention the fact that they are easy to make. Even though there are so many ways to consume the food, how many of them taste so good you would give up every other food ever? None. Eggs are just not that good. Once again they have a smell pungent enough to bring someone to tears, and not the good kind.


If I had to wrap this entire story into one sentence, it would be “Eggs are cool and all but they’re not one person’s favorite food.” If one of those bad boys gets dropped or crack? Have fun cleaning that up. How dare eggs have the audacity to be in cookie dough yet make us sick if we eat them raw. That’s just rude. I would say their reign has come to end but they never reigned superior to begin with. Everyone knows that the best breakfast food is either pancakes or waffles. Better luck next year, eggs; there’s always a participation medal!