Water Warz

Cooper Nelson, Staff Writer

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Water wars is coming, and it’s coming fast. But there is a more important water war at hand. The question that is tearing apart the soul of this great nation, what is the best brand of water? Some of the most popular brands on the market right now are Zephyrhills, Aquafina, and Dasani. If you ask someone what their favorite water company is, odds are they will have a confident answer for you. The differences in taste, while may be subtle to some, is the epicenter of much debate for many.

Prices vary vastly depending upon the brand of water. Luxury brands in the water market include brands like Fiji, Voss, and Smartwater. These luxury brands are a sizeable flex on your peers, but is it worth the price? I know one thing for sure: the feeling of taking a swig of an ice cold, absurdly priced Fiji water is seldom matched.

When you get down to the nitty gritty of it and look at the facts, Dasani is the undisputed champion. Excluding the high-end water market, Dasani is king of the water world. The taste of a fresh Dasani is out of this world.  In combination with a sleek cutting-edge bottle design Dasani is the king of Water Warz. This, of course, is still up to debate for some.  The people with this inferior state of mind should not be trusted and are most likely Russian spies. They are a threat to this great nation, and the rest of the world for that matter. Anyone who sincerely believes Zephyrhills is the best brand of water needs to go, like seriously. Who do I need to talk to get these barbarians out of my life? I do not know. But something needs to be done.

In conclusion Dasani is the superior brand of water. While the crisp taste and added clout boost via the Fiji label make for a close competitor, the cost associated with the luxury water market is just too great. This leaves us with good ol’ reliable, economically priced, delicious Dasani.

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