No one’s favorite things: juice edition

Orange juice can really be a swing and a miss.

Orange juice is good, but I promise you its no ones favorite drink.

Orange juice is good, but I promise you it’s no one’s favorite drink.

Claire Maloney, Web Editor

If one were to think about the ideal American breakfast, what might someone see? Coffee, pancakes, eggs, toast, orange juice, all are staples, a foundation if you will; they single handedly carry breakfast foods on their back. But what if I were to tell you that orange juice just isn’t worth all the hype? It’s good, but it’s so hard to find the perfect orange juice. I mean come on, what the heck is pulp and why does it have the audacity to be in my drink? I feel like very rarely will I ever drink orange juice and not either get completely disgusted by pulp or think it was too bitter. Don’t even get me started on extra pulp; it’s an abomination. Last I checked I don’t want my juice to have texture. Apple juice, fruit punch, grape juice are all superior to orange juice. The highlight? None of them have texture, none of this pulp nonsense. If this was Mean Girls, orange juice would definitely be Regina George. It seems sweet at first but deep down orange juice is just an apple juice wannabe.


Orange juice just isn’t consistent. There are far too many brands and styles of orange juice for all of them to be good; in fact, most of the are bad. Orange juice itself really isn’t that bad; I just hate pulp. Last I checked I didn’t order really small confetti in my juice. It completely compromises the integrity of the consistency and I just can’t stand by and let it happen. Pulp ruins orange juice and I live by that. Orange juice doesn’t even pair well with a lot of things. The juice itself is good on its own but aside from certain breakfast foods what does it go well with? Nothing. Orange juice isn’t consistent enough and doesn’t pair well with more than two foods, so for this reason, orange juice is no one’s favorite juice.