The World’s worst thing: Paper straws

Paper straws are a sham, wake up America


No one needs a straw that bad, at that point it’s just a disappointment

Claire Maloney, Web Editor

There are few things on this planet that I loathe, but the things that I loathe really get me riled up. You may ask what’s on top of the list. I mean I don’t know why anyone would care, but paper straws really take the cake. I completely and 100% HATE paper straws. They single headedly make my life experience 10 times worse. I see them at Publix and get so mad, I become the Hulk; I legitimately can’t control the anger paper straws bring me. There is absolutely no reason anyone should use a paper straw.

I think my hatred of paper straws all began when I used one for the first time at Frenchy’s in Dunedin. I was excited about paper straws; I thought they were a great eco-friendly replacement for the plastic straw. It was a simpler time back then. Then I actually used one and realized they are the worst things anyone could have ever thought of. They get soggy faster than Fruity Pebbles, faster than a Subway sub, faster than Usain Bolt can run. You can barely finish your first sip before the paper is complete mush. Not to mention the fact that they use a lot of paper. Don’t get me wrong–I’m all for the environment–but just go straw-less or use a reusable straw. Better yet, get a Krazy straw like us sane people. Not one person needs a straw so badly they have to use a paper straw.

Paper straws do nothing; they just sit there being aggressively sub par drinking tubes. I will never be caught dead using a paper straw. If you really care about the environment just don’t use a straw at all, it’s not that big of a deal. How many people even recycle them? They can’t be that much better for the environment than a plastic straw because they use so much paper and you end needing to use more than one to actually finish your drink. I can’t even think of one dire situation in which someone would need a paper straw. In conclusion, paper straws are a bigger waste of space than anything Minion related