Rebutting the rebuttal

He peers into my soul and tells me I’m a disappointment in twelve different languages

He peers into my soul and tells me I’m a disappointment in twelve different languages

Claire Maloney, Web Editor

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It has come to my attention that a fellow staff writer, a peer, a classmate, has gone against my better judgement and written an article about how baby Yoda was in fact cute and not the ugly monster I make him out to be. Worst of all they blindsided me; I never saw it coming. I’ll never forget the dreaded day that I, our brave web editor, had to post their story for myself. Mrs. Barbieri asked me if I would post it and what could I say, no? Will they see this? Will they respond? Who knows. Apparently not me, I don’t know if I can ever recover from this, my sense of trust is abolished and I will forever be the shell of man.

 

If we were to look at the facts, it is crystal clear that baby Yoda is far from cute, not to mention that he is old. People are falling in love with a 50-year-old alien. Dare I say baby Yoda is a cougar? His big green ears and his black void eyes are far too ominous for my liking, he hears and see all and that is far too much power. There’s no doubt in my mind that he knows when you’re sleeping and knows when you’re awake (so you better watch out for goodness sake).

 

If there’s one thing I want you to take away from this tale, it’s that baby Yoda is not cute, and I have been wronged. I’ll do my best to recover but remark this as a cautionary tale, never trust your fellow journalists or you’ll live to regret it. First, they’re being nothing but kind to you and next they’re writing web stories about a green bacterium, truly despicable behavior.