On teachers and qualifications

Photo provided by Antonio Amram

Photo provided by Antonio Amram

Antonio Amram, Staff Writer

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My favorite thing about school is those select few teachers who totally know everything about their subjects and are definitely not flying by the seat of their pants. Ah yes, the hallmark of public high schools: over-qualified teachers. Of course, a few teachers slip through the cracks and are allowed to continue teaching with just their “knowledge” or “teaching skill” or even the odious “experience,” and these classes are the absolute worst. I cannot stand it when I walk in to a class and the teacher has the gall to teach instead of giving me worksheets. In a stark contrast, it is just my favorite thing in the whole entire world when I walk into a class and am handed an assignment with no clear connection to the subject. If I’m going to my AP basket weaving course, I go in expecting worksheets on crayon coloring techniques. If I’m going into my honors Phys Ed course, I shouldn’t run; I should be given at least a dozen worksheets describing proper running technique. Teachers these days believe that they know best for their classes, but obviously that is false. The only teacher I truly trust anymore is a poorly-framed photocopy of a worksheet available online. Now that’s real learning. One of the biggest reasons I’m looking forward to college is that I hear the teachers don’t even bother with the B.S- they come out swinging with a bajillion worksheets. That’s what higher education is about- not learning, quality teaching, or anything of that nature. It’s all about a high volume of menial work with answers available easily on Quizlet.

Above all, I love it when teachers get on their pristine white high horse and tell us that they “can no longer treat us like college students” (because that always happens. The default setting for all high schools teachers is “respect students”). Personally, the best part of this is cell phone caddies. These genius inventions not only teach students how to deliver the line “my phone’s in my locker” convincingly, but they enable the teacher to be incredibly condescending while attempting to enforce it. After all, who doesn’t love condescension?

All in all, high school teachers should always double down on what their critics call “flaws.” You all are perfect, and don’t let a 1.8% pass rate on the AP exam tell you otherwise.

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