East Lake High School – Home of the Eagles… and the catchphrases?

Brandon Ottaviano, Staff Writer

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The East Lake High School faculty and staff are a wonderful people. Full of hardworking and dedicated teachers, East Lake is a fantastic place to hone one’s educational and social skills to prepare for the real world. While some teachers are brilliant in their own fields, others bring both brilliance and a sense of humor to the table. Most importantly, they spit straight fire in the form of hilarious catchphrases that we students continually repeat day after day. The All-Star cast of teachers with the best catchphrases includes a number of names we hold near and dear, so without further ado, here are some of ELHS’s favorites:

Of course, the ELHS king of comedy, John Loftus has a notable amount of funny punchlines. Most of his Calculus students are familiar with the classic “Carnage!” line he so often throws out, usually following a test day. Mr. Loftus throws out other zingers surrounding test day, advising us to “gird your loins!” before hearing our scores. Beyond the zingers he also has a few phrases that are just iconic. Every story he tells begins with setting the scene: “it was a dark and stormy night…” so on and so forth. When we prepare for test days Loftus often says these tests will “separate the men from the boys.”

Another comedy legend may be slightly underappreciated by some, but I assure you, Mr. Spennato, you have a number of fans. Both your “truth-seekers” and your “Constitutional scholars” love their titles.  We love playing “read, agree, disagree” because it truly is “more fun than… Monopoly!” The dry humor and exaggeration of syllables makes learning about the Constitution that much better. Being in that type of environment where we are being educated but also laughing every time we hear:  “we have conflict!” is the best feeling. Mr. Spennato has all kinds of zingers and funny punchlines, but my favorite? “I am the state… and I’m here to help.”

Many other notable zingers come from some of our staff’s other favorites. Mr. Kay likes to throw heavy emphasis on history by putting lots of emphasis on “China!” Mr. Kay also jokes around about Christopher Columbus ruining the term “Indian,” marked by the phrase “Damn, Columbus!”  Mr. Maisner is also just hilarious. His frequent “Oh, sugar!” or his “Ta-daaaa” makes econ a blast. Every Friday he tells his seventh period class to be “allocatively efficient,” an endearing phrase with an econ twist. East Lake’s lovely staff brings education and laughs every day of the year.



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East Lake High School – Home of the Eagles… and the catchphrases?