Patrick Roghaar triumph: a year in review


It seemed like it would be another year of tragedy, but the formerly hapless Roghaar rebounded spectacularly.

Sean Cunningham, Staff Writer

As the year draws to its conclusion, I thought it would be good to look back on the seemingly sad story that has been Patrick Roghaar’s existence over the past year and reflect. Through the ups and downs, this specimen has retained a stunning allegiance to the art of living out an eventful lifestyle, and today we will take a stroll down his memory lane up to this point in the school year.

The year began with a run-down Roghaar sporting tattered Sperrys and a hopeful morale. As surprising as it may sound, the tragedies have been less frequent than one may assume (or some may make it seem through articles such as these) and Roghaar has put together an impressive year of feats. We may have to nickname him “the comeback kid” as he has certainly attained some impressive achievements over his junior year, including the possession of a car, development of a blossoming romance, and completion of a stellar baseball season up to this point. Although these changes have brought him loads in adapting to it all, Roghaar has been able to put together a strong year all while managing to throw up at only two of our six food challenges. Heading into summer and the year to come, our once tragic friend is poised to continue his run of achievement and find further success in his future endeavors. Although it sounds crazy, I believe that Patrick has escaped the clutches of his tragic past and paved the way towards a bright future!

Thus concludes the Patrick Roghaar Tragedy saga, or at least what is to come this year from it. Fret not. For I will be sure to keep a close eye on the tribulations that will inevitably come his way, but as of right now it seems that the tragedy has turned around and revealed a wonderful set of achievements we are all proud to praise. Until next year!